Me & My Shadows

The last leaves are now just reflections of nearly forgotten memories, cast like shadows on the wall.

Nelson Mandela said “there is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”  I think he is right.  I have not yet met the goals that I have set for myself and I know that once I attain these there will always be more.  There is always more to come, I think, even beyond death there is more.

I hope that I still have a lot of time to work my life plan out, but one never really knows.  It seems to me that my future life is set out like a dinner party to which I have have not been invited yet.  Still, I can’t help it!  I hope that Judy Chicago set the table for me!  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to sit in on this dinner party with all the fantastic attendees?

But, I don’t know what this life has in store for me.  The future, my future, just like everyone else’s is somewhere just beyond my grasp.  My future exists only like the shadows of last years leaves which promise that there will be other springs; other falls.

I think about Aesop’s warning to “beware that you do not lose the substance by grasping at the shadow”.   I could use some illumination, but in these short days when the sun casts so much shadow it is not always easy to find the light that will surely come again.  It is easier to focus on the unreachable shadows which are long, sleek, and mysterious.

Thankfully, I can do some shadow exploration tomorrow when I return to THO.  I can’t help it!  I wonder what is waiting there for me?  I know it will be my home, my land, my friends and family.  I know that there is a big party at home this weekend coming.  What else is waiting in tomorrow’s shadow?